3. How It Works
Several reputable scientific studies have shown people effortlessly stop using drugs when they return to their loving environments, as seen with the Bruce Alexander’s “Rat Park” experiments, the Vietnam war, and after people are treated with drugs in hospitals. It is only while a person is in pain, constantly stressed, or depressed that they are compelled to use a substance or behavior to help them escape from what they are feeling. Instead of compulsive habits being the cause of our suffering, they are merely symptoms of our unhappiness.
We believe the main key to feeling authentically happy is loving. We are referring here, to “love” as a verb. As you express your loving, you invite the universe to love you back. We are happy when we are being loving with ourselves and others. Love heals disconnection.
However, a person who feels very hurt inside can be too closed off to be effected by a loving environment, while a person who is choosing to love their self and others, seems to light-up almost any environment. Therefore, we believe its not the loving environment that creates happiness, but one’s choice to love their self and their environment. We believe the True Self or Soul is endless love, and by expressing our soul’s loving, we come to know our authentic joyful Selves, and live our greater potential.
Old resentments keep a person from knowing their joy of loving. As long as we are unhappy, it’s not possible to have any real success.
Often, people don’t discover how unhappy they are until after they have become addicted to a substance, person, or compulsive activity. How far down the scale a person’s life goes before they get help is different for each individual. For one person, it may be becoming 25 pounds overweight, when they realize they need to get help for an emotional eating disorder. Another may realize they can’t keep a long term loving relationship because of their porn habit. Another may realize getting sick frequently was caused by their compulsive overworking. Another may wait until they are thousands of dollars in debt before they can finally admit they have a compulsive over-spending and under-earning habit. Another may realize they have a problem with codependence after years of emotional mood swings while being in and out of toxic relationships. Another may realize their depression might be caused by their compulsive self criticism. Another may become homeless and hungry because their addiction had become more important than their basic needs.
Albert Einstein said: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result.”
The sustaining purpose of our addiction was to not have to feel our painful feelings, so our healing and growth process became chronically blocked.
Scientifically, all addiction is a form of drug addiction. Even if a person is not using drugs, when a person is doing the compulsive behavior, they get temporarily high because their brain’s dopamine levels increase. This creates a temporary energy rush. This high is not a problem unless the person is chronically unhappy with their life. Unhappy people who carry unresolved pain will regularly use a substance or behavior to make them feel high, as a way of going out of body to not have to feel their negative feelings.
By avoiding our feelings, we delay our healing and growth. Those of us who became addicted for years, fell behind emotionally, and usually developed an anger issue. We found ourselves acting childish or like rebellious teenagers when we did not get our way because we felt like victims. Indeed, we were victims of our own self abuse. We eventually realized: The chain of our life was only as strong as our weakest link. This metaphor explains why swifter progress happened for those who put their recovery first, before all other responsibilities.
Some substances that unhappy people become addicted to are called medicines. If one needs a medicine they are claiming their self as sick. When a person is well, they no longer need a medicine. But if they become addicted to the medicine, they can never discover their wellness because the medicine is being used to inhibit their emotional healing. When a person learns to love their feelings (their inner child), they rediscover their true joy of living. They love their life too much to ever want to numb out their feelings again, because true joy lovingly includes all feelings.
Becoming honest about our compulsive behavior was a huge step forward in our happiness recovery, because the main thing that kept us stuck was our denial we had a problem, and the negative effects it had on ourselves and our love ones. We had to face and own our shadow, less it continued to own us.
We had to tell at least one other person the exact nature of our compulsive habit. These private and confidential meetings should be with someone you look-up to for their emotional wholeness and compassionate wisdom, whether it be a sponsor of a recovery group, professional counselor, or wise and loving friend with extra time on their hands. It needs to be someone who is extremely patient, not in a hurry to try to heal your problem. Experience has shown us complete Happiness Recovery is realized by those who are honest and work their process, but the timing is different for each person.
The main remedy to addiction is learning to love ourselves and others in better ways, and in every way. For the protocol see the HRA Recovery Plan.
Seek the Kingdom within, and all else shall be added onto you. Matthew 6:33
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to Success Albert Swietzer